Who hasn't imagined themselves traveling the world? I've done a fair bit less of that than I imagined when I was younger, and yet also have moved to and lived in way more places than I'd have preferred.

When I was growing up, my family didn't do much traveling. We lived in a little seaside vacation town that had no shortage of stimulation, and occasionally my Dad would take my Mom and I around California, which is as much its own country as most places in the world.

Still, I often thought about traveling. When I started working my IT job and had a bit of money set aside, I began to plan out travels across the country and the world. I managed to pop over to Manhattan for a couple weekends and was planning a bigger trip to other places around the country before maybe a trip over the pond to Scotland.

When I was hired it was expected I would be sent to some fairly random places around the continental US at least once a year. I was sent to New Jersey for a week and popped up to NYC a couple times. I expected to be sent to other places, but soon after that the Pandemic hit and the lockdowns started.

So for the past few years I haven't had to do any travel. And things have changed quite a bit. My Mom lives in town now and needs me to go over to her fairly frequently for both errands and companionship. I have this extremely clingy cat who feels extremely entitled to my personal space. I have routines and communities and generally don't like any disruption in my life. I've been pretty content with how things are.

So some weeks back or so, my boss informs me that he'll need to send me to our office in Chicago for a week due to some backlogs of work they've been suffering. Being a "team player" per the corporate culture we are condemned to, I didn't complain. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me very anxious.

With all the chaos in the world lately, me being a brown guy going through the airport seemed like a scenario that could go sideways in too many different ways. The prep work beforehand was a hassle, the planning was unwieldy and I just felt terrified to fly. Or maybe it's just airport anxiety.

And on top of all that, I kept worrying about my Mom and my cat. Snyper needs a lot of attention and I feel bad enough as is with how much I have to leave the house for work and socializing, and I can't help but worry if something happens that my Mom won't be able to deal with on her own (very likely). I also thought about not being able to workout and the resulting loss of my Sweet Gains (tm) and the spiking anxiety that goes with it.

But I went, and ultimately, it was a nice time.

Since it was a work trip, I didn't have a lot of time to fuck around and see the sights, but the IT manager out there is one of the nicest people and was kind enough to show me around.

The whole time I was there I was worried about Snyper, but my crew came together to take turns stopping by the house to play with her. She's a very sociable cat and so nobody was disappointed by her being skittish. Seeing pics of her while I was away really helped me stay calm while I was there.

In addition, one of my best friends, Anna, was kind enough to go check on my Mom, and sit and talk with her for a little while so she didn't feel so isolated. It made me feel very secure to know that my community had my back like I had theirs.

And I was able to keep up with my workouts due to the presence of some free weights in the hotel and at the office. Honestly it made me a little jelly that they had that there, it would certainly help on days when I'd like to strangle some users.

On my way back, I found that my general comfort in airports had mostly returned, and that it was generally the same as it had always been: a boring place full of tired people. Being back in Columbus has made me reconsider setting aside some cash to go visit some of those places I'd thought about before.

There's a vampire larp con in Atlanta this November that would probably be killer that a friend of mine would be at. There's a few airplane museums that would be wonderful to visit. Maybe Scotland doesn't have to be such a distant dream.

It's good to know there are people here at home who love me (and my cat) and would go a little out of their way to make sure she's okay while I'm gone. I think whatever the future holds for me and travel, I can do it with a lot less fear hanging over my head.